this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2024
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How do you date? (beehaw.org)
submitted 9 months ago by Gaywallet@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org
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Recently had a conversation with a good friend about dating, and it had me curious about how everyone on Beehaw approaches dating. Tell me a bit about how you date! Here's a few prompts/thoughts I'm curious about:

  • How long does it take for you to know if you're attracted to someone (sexually, romantically, emotionally, shared interests, etc)?
  • What do you like to do when you date and does it change depending on how many dates you've been on or how well you know the person?
  • Once you start dating someone, how long does it take you to understand whether you want to date the person long term or whether it's not going to work out?
  • Do you only date people you meet in real life or do you use dating apps? How do you approach going from stranger to dating them?
  • What's most important in deciding whether you want to date someone? Do they need to have an interest in activities you enjoy, shared values, emotional intelligence, a certain kind of humor, or something else?
  • Is there something you don't understand about dating and want to share your frustration?
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[–] furrowsofar@beehaw.org 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I met my wife through friends, not through massive amounts of dating. After first date with the woman that ended up as my wife, I mentally gave it two months. Some where along the way it got out of hand and we have been together for 28 years. Who would have known.

Personally I do not believe immediate attraction is more then lust and lust is not a long term thing. You have to get to know people and that takes time. If you know someone and can accept them for who they are your likely to love them. Then there is the question whether you can stand them, do you trust them, are your lives compatible. If your lucky the lust part comes and goes and comes back again over the years but it is not the basis of our relationship.