this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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I mean, I don't mind. I'm into this stuff and I like helping others who are interested ^^
I suffered a hemorrhaging stroke at 21 that robbed me of physical and cognitive abilities, as a summary. On my right side, I lost fine (or any) motor control of my fingers, hand, lower arm, toes, foot, ankle, and lower leg, along with losing ~90% nerve response on that side too. Quarter blind in both eyes, struggling with (verbal) speech, both processing and producing (extracting or counting letters from a word, or taking in 'bulk' info like a name and address without a pause, I struggle with hard). Emotional control, too, which is weird (example, happy songs, or songs that I associate with happy memories, cause me to cry even if I try and fight it). I am alive, but I haven't 'lived' since it happened, losing a ton of abilities to do things important to me. I'm trapped in a body that has tried to kill me, I'm a prisoner of my own existence.
I have people that care about me, and I am grateful and appreciate of that... but bluntly, it's a struggle to want to be here anymore. I've been through therapy and it did help (I was in a bad state before, my fiancé left me and they were the last reason I had to keep going). But it's just so devistating, every day.
Anyway. Shoot me more questions if you want =)