this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
157 points (92.0% liked)

No Stupid Questions

36163 readers
1024 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Dating is odd to me. I do not really know what my motivations are. If I actually find someone. What then? What will we do? How different will our relationship be from a regular friendship (besides you know what). And should it be?

Should you be wanting to do other things with your SO then a very good friend?

What I'm getting at is, have you ever thought to someone: "They don't really want a relationship they just want a one particular friend with benefits."

I don't know if I'm rambling over here. But I'm really having difficulty digesting this one.

Edit: The reason I ask is because I'm thinking to start dating again but I don't know my end goal.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is an interesting question. In my opinion, romance, true romance, is built over time through consistent effort. Nobody truly loves someone the moment they see that person. Anyone who thinks that they fell in love at first sight, well, I call that puppy love. It's the kind of "love" that middle school children engage in.

I think that distinction doesn't get emphasized enough. And all the romance movies that glorify "passionate love" aren't helping. If you were to ask me, true love is what's left after the passion has died out. I know some people describe it as being like a best friend. I won't necessarily say that it's wrong, since it's a pretty close approximation. But I don't think that's the full picture.

Have you ever lived with a roommate? A lot of it is about balancing each person's wants and compromising. A lot of it is about forming a strong system of habits that won't anger the other person. Who does the dishes? Who takes out the trash? Who keeps track of groceries? What do you do if the other person is upset? Even down to simple things, like what to do if you and the other person can't agree on what to eat. If you had a roommate at any point in your life, you'd probably understand what I mean. Having an SO is essentially like that, but much harder, because you're sharing many more things than with just a roommate. In my opinion, true love is about aiming to set up that equilibrium where both people enjoy living with the other person.

To summarize, if you were given a choice between living with your SO or living alone, and you end up preferring to live with your SO, then I would consider that true love.

[โ€“] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 1 points 11 months ago

In my opinion, true romance has Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette.