this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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Almost every jar of pickles claims a serving of pickles has zero calories. Now clearly, this is incorrect and the result of exploiting some ridiculous FDA loophole, since anyone knows that cucumbers provide calories.

So let's say you're in a situation where you lose all access to food, but you've got effectively unlimited access to pickles -- like, you're trapped inside a recently abandoned pickle warehouse.

Could you conceivably eat enough pickles to survive for a month? Two months? Or would your body just shut down from all the sodium and acid?

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[–] sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social 72 points 9 months ago (3 children)

With a serving size of 20-30g and only 1 g carbs, unfortunately they’re not exploiting labeling. Cucumbers do not have significant carbohydrates, fat or protein and thus neither do pickled cucumbers. Maybe enough carbs to survive but not enough fat or protein, and so you’d end up with protein deficiency and whatever that condition is where people eating just rabbits starve from lack of fat. Probably also a horrific case of heartburn from such an acidic diet.

They do have a decent amount of some vitamins and minerals, and electrolytes such as potassium. It wouldn’t make up for the lack of protein and fat though.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Would it be at least marginally better to eat the pickles, or would you be better off just fasting? Could they give you a few more days to live, at least, in hopes of rescue?

[–] Broken_Monitor@lemmy.world 80 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Are you stuck in a pickle factory? Blink twice if you’re under duress.

[–] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 52 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

OP, we can get you out. Just make sure the door isn't a jar!

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I mean, I don't want to make a big dill about this...

[–] Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If you are stuck right now. Go ahead and eat some pickles. Some calories and nutrition is better than completely 0. Also keep in mind that Cal stands for Kilocalories, so a pickle serving may have anywhere from 100 to 5000 calories (0-5 Cal) based on the prior numbers

Cal stands for Kilocalories

I forget this a lot! It seems so unintuitive. I wonder why they didn't just go with "kcal" or some other abbreviation.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

if you are discussing short-term survive-ability, while waiting for rescue, then eating pickles is better than nothing. They will provide water, vitamins, electrolytes, etc. If you are discussing living off of pickles as a lifestyle, or prolonged diet option, then it isn't enough.

[–] LanternEverywhere@kbin.social 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It would do the opposite of providing water, it would almost immediately decrease the amount of water available to your body.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The pickles themselves shouldn't be a net negative for hydration, but drinking the juice would be.

[–] LanternEverywhere@kbin.social 4 points 9 months ago

No way, pickles alone are super salty, it'll definitely be dehydrating

[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

So dry them thoroughly before eating?

And then you DIY distill the pickle juice to get as much water and as little acid as possible

[–] sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

They have some carbs and protein at least, and vitamins and electrolytes. The water would probably help but I’d wonder if it would be too salty.

I think it would be, similar to drinking sea water

[–] Davel23@kbin.social 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

whatever that condition is where people eating just rabbits starve from lack of fat

Not sure if you're making a joke, but it's literally called "rabbit starvation".

[–] CountVon@sh.itjust.works 20 points 9 months ago

Apparently the technical term is protein poisoning. Digesting protein creates urea, and the body needs at least some fat in order to convert to ammonia that can be excreted. It's also called "mal be caribou" in French (caribou sickness, I think), which I find fascinating.

Well, simpler than I thought!

[–] vexikron@lemmy.zip 7 points 9 months ago

Yeah... wouldnt you basically be able to live for a while, but not actually having much actual energy to move... and probably basically be having liquid stinging shits the whole time?