this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
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I have to remember to look out for myself because even though I'm trying to look out for a lot of people I care about, no one is looking out for me.
In my experience it's not so much about putting a limit as it is about avoiding takers and finding other givers. But one has to be careful not to be used. :)
I find itβs important to allow yourself to be vulnerable to a moderate degree, to give people the chance to expose themselves as a giver or taker.
I feel like you might want to make sure you have all your bases covered and that you're not setting yourself up for desperation/exploitation. Its so important with other people where this is suspected, to fail and fail quickly and and as harmlessly as possible.
Letting a taker take even once just teaches them they can take and move on to the next victim. People need to prove themselves as trustworthy before giving them anything. Offer them something relatively small like buying lunch. If they don't hesitate to take it then they're takers. Someone who won't refuse at least twice has no qualms about taking for nothing. But I just don't associate with people enough to allow them the chance to even try.