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the Lactaid-brand eggnog gives me explosive diarrhea (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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why 😭

it tastes so good

Edit: I have looked at the nutrition label and done some mental math based on how much of the container is left. 80% of daily cholesterol. 100% daily saturated fats. 120% daily added sugars. This was in one glass.

What the fuck is this liquid taco bell bullshit

Postmortem: after sleeping and having a nightmare where I had a heart attack and died while shitting my brains out, I have poured the remaining half of the eggnog down the drain and have resolved to never buy it again because I like being alive

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[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

How do you think I know its the eggnog

I get it whenever it is in stock, and whenever I drink it I get explosive diarrhea

I know its not the Milk causing it because it's, well, lactaid

Wait a second, what if they are lying to me

Edit: I am fairly certain it is in fact lactose free. My current theory is that it has something to do with the large amount of sugar. I think I might be getting almost 60% of my daily value of added sugars and 50% of my daily value of fats in one of the big glasses I drink it out of. If my fiancée finds out I am doing this to my poor arteries, she will be very upset because she made me promise to not die first

Edit 2: I have dramatically underestimated how many servings I have drank today. New ballpark is

80% daily cholesterol
100% daily saturated fats
120% added sugars

IN ONE GLASS

What the fuck have I done

[–] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I get it whenever it is in stock, and whenever I drink it I get explosive diarrhea

Let's science this out.
First we need to establish cause and effect.

Can you rule out that whatever causes your explosive diarrhea isn't also making the store stock eggnogg?

[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 11 months ago

Omg, explosive diarrhea causes Christmas lol