this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
76 points (98.7% liked)

Asklemmy

43328 readers
1022 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Savaran@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So part of the coffee shop advice is true. Even if you feel it’s superficial to start. There’s actually a lot to be said for “fake it until you make it” type socialization. Showing up regularly at the same place, be kind to the staff, learn their names, and little by little you’ll find you start recognizing other regulars and the you. It’s okay for connections to start out not super real or deep, it still works those social muscles out. After that it’s just time investment.

[–] u202307011927@feddit.de 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

No, because, obviously I made it, everyone's believing the story that I built by faking, except myself. I never allowed my true self to be seen

Edit: I'm arguing here, because I need to understand that I made it, I need to speak it, voice it and dare to let my true self be seen since I obviously made it. Get it? If I never hear that I made it, I'll doubt forever that I made it

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It's normal to feel like you somehow don't "deserve" your life. Please know that many people around you have the same struggle, and to some extent it's true. Who among us deserve even to be alive and aware and conscious? To live? We don't. Nobody deserves anything. But we have it anyway - you have this life, it's yours, without deserving or earning it it's yours. That is wonderful and a gift.

What you consider your true self may also be an illusion, because you are not kind to yourself and do not see yourself objectively.

You may be faking it till you make it but at some point you must admit you have, in truth, made it.

[–] Savaran@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The point is this isn’t a quick thing. Go long enough in an environment as a regular and you’ll feel safer and more able to open up.

But if you’re going to argue with the advice provided then why ask?