Casual Conversation

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So, I had this idea a few months back, where I was thinking of bringing my kid along. The gist of the trip in question was that I was setting up a server cluster at the head office, and there was no real reason why I couldn't bring one of my kids along. And a few Lemmings wanted me to report back, so here I am.

Before making a decition and a plan, I kind of tried to poke and prod my son (I'll be referring to him as E from now on), trying to see if I could spark some curiosity with computery stuff beyond roblox. So I asked him open questions such as "When you're connecting to a roblox game, what are you connecting to? Where is that game running?" That way I got him curious about the concept of servers in general. At first he was a bit baffled how a 10000$ computer didn't even have a screen and keyboard, but I got to show him a few screenshots of IPMI, which was easy for him to understand.

After making the call that I could bring him along, I asked my boss, and he was fine with it. I then booked us hotel rooms "for free" as I had enough bonus points to use. Same thing for airline tickets, so there was no real extra cost to bring him along. Plus school doesn't start until 17th of August, so there were no conflicts either.

So, last sunday, the night before leaving, I sat him down in the kitchen to explain what we'd be doing, how, and why. I drew a basic network diagram of the server cluster and how we were going to wire up the network. I also was sure to let him knew that this wasn't something he needed to remember, I just wanted to show him the underlying concept. Besides, I know that his ADHD would've made it hard to remember it without physically tinkering with it. I had some SFP transcievers I could show him so that he could recognize a fiber connection when he saw one. Afterwards I showed him on a map where we'd be flying to, where our airport express train would take us, and where we'd be both staying and working. Afterwards I helped him make sure he had everything he needed for the trip; clothes, charger, etc. In addition to that, I suggested that he could hit the download button in the Netflix app on his phone so that he'd have something to watch while we travelled.

Monday:
The next morning I told him that he didn't really need to take his ADHD meds. There'd be so much for us to do anyway that there wouldn't really be many quiet moments where he could bounce off the walls. Plus, his concerta tends to mess with his appetite, and I've learned the hard way that traveling on an empty stomach is a really bad idea. Eat when you can - There aren't many opportunities to do so. We left the house after saying goodbye to everyone, and after a quick stop by the store to pick up some road snacks we were underway for the roughly one hour drive to the rather small regional airport. I've traveled through it enough times to know exactly how much time we needed, so we were done checking in and all that 10 minutes before boarding. After takeoff I suggested that now would be a good time to watch some of those downloaded netflix shows. But no, he was perfecly satisfied just looking out the window for an hour.
We touched down around 10:15, and went through the airport without much of note. We grabbed our checked bags we headed for the airport express train. Actually, both checked luggages were mine, but one of them was on his ticket. I had a bunch of spare parts and stuff that I wanted to bring to the office permanently. It wasn't heavy, it was just big. I had to chuckle when I saw how people reacted to a 12 year old kid rolling behind him a Pelicase that looked like it weighed more than him.
Oh, and one thing: We live in a very very small town that someone somehow managed to squeeze into the terrain, between a fjord and two mountains. While we've traveled through larger cities, he's not really used to anything else than this pretty quiet place. When we got off the airport express train and out of our station in the center of The Big City his first sentence was "I can now see more people than I've ever met in my entire life". Yup, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to bring him in the first place - The world is big, and our corner of it is very very small. Some perspective is always nice.
We went straight to the office where he got to meet my boss and a coworker. Yup, we're only three people. We're a pretty small company, but it's a standalone unit that serves as a support arm for one of the biggest corporations you've (n)ever heard of, so we have all the resources we need without much of the corporate wank that comes along with large companies.
I was then showed the pile of hardware that was waiting for us. Servers, switches, cables, and PDUs. No server rack, though. After getting an update from the vendor, we sadly learned that the rack wouldn't arrive in time, but we worked around it by building what I refer to as a server pile: Everything stacked, connected, and ready for use, just so we could get started.
But first I wanted to show him something: The office we have is in a building that basically rents out office units to smaller companies, but the building as a whole is rather large. And once you have a company owning a building like that they want to make it as cool and attractive as possible in terms of decorations, including getting some novelty items. So on my phone I now have a picture of E sitting in the drivers seat of a DMC DeLorean in the buildings lobby.
After that, as well as some lunch we got to work by opening boxes and making sure we had everything we needed. We then started wiring up the basics just so we could prepare the machines. So now E knows how to check the Meraki dashboard to find the DHCP address of a server, log in to IPMI on that server, and configure its static address. This took most of the day. After that we checked into the hotel, and as we got up pretty early, we just decided to get some fast food delivered and and chill at the hotel for the rest of the day.

Tuesday:
First we carried it all into the "server room" (It's another office right next to our actual office, but we use it as a server room), and then we ran all the cables we needed. It was actually pretty convenient to have his small hands available for reaching into the hole we drilled in the walls to get the cables done. After this it was time to begin setting up the servers. As these are operating in a cluster, they would all be set up the same way, except hostname and IP, so the plan was that I'd set up the first server, then he'd set up the next two with my support, and then we'd see if he could set up the last one by himself. It took some time for me to figure out how to get the procedure ready, but once done it was fairly straight forward. So E know knows how to set up Debian 12 on mdraid with redundant grub install to two harddrives.
After work we visited a reptile park right around the corner. While it's called a reptile park they have other stuff as well, and since E has always been fascinated by turtles he really enjoyed being able to touch a rather big one, as well as a bearded dragon.

Wednesday:
Last day for E. He would be traveling home in the evening, while I stayed behind. I figured it probably wouldn't be very interesting for him to see dad pushing buttons for five days straight. Most of the day was spent doing some basic setup stuff like installing packages and managing all of the disks installed in the servers. E now knows how to configure RAID6. Later in the day we got a call that our rack was right around the corner. And hoboy, this turned out to be quite the adventure on its own. Well, when we were ordering the rack, we basically just wanted to make sure that it was big enough for any future needs, so we ended up with 42U. And it's a pretty old building, so ceiling clearance wasn't always there. I think we had 5mm to spare when we were manhandling the rack into the elevator. This took the rest of the day - When we finally had the rack in the server room, it was time to head back to the hotel and pack his things.
The return trip was pretty uneventful. Turns out that at 12 year old you're allowed to fly alone without someone from the airline escorting you everywhere, and as he's flown before I didn't really feel like he needed it either. I just got one of those security gate passes so that we could get something to eat in the terminal together. "But I don't know where to walk when I land?" He asked. Well, I just told him to follow the other passengers, and eventually he'd meet his aunt. Afterwards I walked him to the gate and made sure he got on his plane. Once the plane took off I headed back to the hotel. While on the train I checked flightradar to make sure that his flight didn't have to divert or anything. He landed while I was still on the train.

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People keep telling me that dating today is a war zone, facing all kinds of challenges.

Dating apps don't seem to be directly trying to help solve the problem as much as generate revenue. In fact, they are very directly motivated to not make great long term matches.

Some people seem think that just getting out there and hoping for the best is the answer. Maybe that's true, but it's still very random. I was wondering about a hypothetical alternative:

What if you could go to an agency of some kind get rated through a thorough evaluation process? Would that be helpful ? It's not perfect, and many things are hard to measure. But maybe it's a less random starting point and can escape the exclusively money driven approach of dating apps.

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Today, I'm embarking on a 30 day experiment to see if I can live (and do my job) in the modern world without a smartphone.

Why?

I've been a tech enthusiast all my life: always had to have the latest, greatest, newest, and shiniest gadget I could afford. Here lately, it feels like the tech is taking over and just making me miserable. "Always connected", notification fatigue, endless doom scrolling, "download our app for [super basic thing that shouldn't require an app], etc. I love my smartphone, but I feel like it's a "ball and chain" that's causing me unneeded stress.

I've been wanting to try this for some time, but the "killer app", so to speak, on my smartphone is hospot mode. I use that heavily for both work and personal use, and I only recently realized that modern "dumb" phones could do that now. Suddenly this experiment became possible, so I bought a cheap dumb phone and decided to give it a try.

So, can I go 30 days without a smartphone, and will I see any quality of life improvements (or perhaps the opposite)? Only one way to find out.

Conditions of the experiment:

I bought a modern-era "dumb" flip phone and moved my SIM to it yesterday evening. It's not a true "dumb" phone, though. It runs a stripped down version of Android, so I'm able to install a few "must have" apps that I need such as my MFA and credit union app. I made a concession with the banking app since the closest branch office is 45 minutes away (I don't consider the MFA app to be a concession since some of the dumber dumb phones had support for at least TOTP generators).

That's it for the apps. No email, IM/chat apps, web browser, etc (though I can run all of those it seems). The only "apps" will be the ones that would be standard for a dumb phone of the mid 2000s (calendar, camera, alarm, music player, etc). I've already connected it over USB and loaded up era-appropriate music from my local collection 😆

Rules:

  1. I'll allow myself to carry my smartphone (w/o SIM card) in my bag, powered off, in case I do need it for something urgent, but I won't carry it on my person or use it beyond immediate need. Will connect to my "dumb" phone via its hotspot for internet.
  2. If I do need to break out the old smart rectangle, I should look to see if there is a way to accomplish what I need without it.
  3. This experiment cannot interfere with my job duties.
  4. I've setup an SMS bridge on my server to forward certain critical alerts. I used to do this back when all phones were dumb phones, so I don't feel it's breaking the spirit of the experiment. These will only be "the datacenter is on fire" level alerts, so I don't anticipate many (or any).

So, here goes. I'm not sure what to expect or how this will turn out and even less sure I'll make it the full 30 days. Wish me luck.

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Personally I've been rocking Sauvage by Dior for a while

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I've been lurking for over a year and I finally made an account 🎉

Now that I can customize the communities I see I'm wondering, what communities are you part of/do you recommend?

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This year is the first time I've watched the Olympic games, and I absolutely loved watching judo. Imagine my thrill when I found out judo will also be featured in the Paralympics!

Anybody else planning to watch the Paralympics? If so, what sport? I am a bit curious about "blind football" and "wheelchair basketball" (as titled in my language), so I might give those a try as well.

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https://www.mystateline.com/news/national/almost-half-of-young-men-have-never-approached-a-woman-romantically-study/

“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.

A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.

The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”

It's interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.

From what I understand it's the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don't think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.

Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don't want to risk misinterpreting it.

Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?

p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.

Edit: Here is a more detailed paper on the survey for those that are interested

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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Empty@leminal.space to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
 
 

Me...

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What's your plans for this evening?

I'm doing bugger all, it's been a long week, ok when i say bugger all, i mean that ill probably find a film to watch, im thinking ill probably watch 'Alien' again (seen it countless times) ready for when 'Alien: romulus' hits the cinemas.

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