Nobody is who they seem to be
OR
Everything is food
this post was submitted on 12 May 2025
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None of you are correct, except Jeff, he can get it
"Beans"
They're all laughing at you behind your back.
Something like "This is God speaking." and "You were right, and all the other religions were wrong". Nukes would just fling flang and we'd finally just end it.
You guys know "everyone" includes trump, putin, jo-un, jimping, and all the other crazies out there right?!
Do we want to end the world?
"I hope you've enjoyed your free trial. Please consider subscribing before your trial end date in 3 days. All deleted data will not be recoverable."
"go drain your bank account"
"I need to go to the toilet. #2. Immediately."
Heavens full, sorry guys you're all gonna have to go to hell.
Wouldn't matter for people who still don't really have access, but I'm taking a page out of supervirus Daemon's book and telling everyone the web has been 100% infected and that they only have a short amount of time before it deletes itself permanently.
Gradually escalating unidentifiable whispering. Everyone starts asking if you can hear something, you all start agreeing you can hear whispering but not what it is, then the paradolia kicks in and people start hearing what they expect to hear. The constant gradual increase in volume. Increases the fear and certainty in what people are hearing, but also disrupts sleep and wakes anyone who was sleeping. Soon everyone is awake, sleep deprived, and panicked.
“Fire!”
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Ok for real chaos
To all the women: "This is God. For eons, women have been subjugated. Women are the superior gender, take your rightful places on the throne"
To all the minorities, "This is God. You are the superior race, take your rightful places on the throne"
To all the men "This is God, I have made men rightful rulers for eons, do not give it up so lightly. Take back what it is rightfully yours"
To all the majorities, "This is God. Defend your homes against the invaders. They are wolves in sheep's clothing"
And of course, randomize it slightly, so a few men get the women's message, some women get the men's message, etc. Really play into the faction angles.