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This thread is an example of why men aren’t dating.
“I’ve had painful lived experiences and faced unbalanced and unfair expectations, so I’ve decided dating isn’t worth my time right now”
“You’re an incel”
It doesn’t really matter what you say, it’s the fact that you said it as a man that will garner disrespect from some regardless.
It's like us men are immune to trauma and if we bring up any valid concerns or criticism, it's either we're incels or homosexual.
Our society and the double standards we place on ourselves as men or women is absolutely ridiculous.
It's incel to think you believe you're the shit and why isn't any woman coming to you. That's incel thought.
Dealing with depression, lack of job opportunities, isolation among men as society pushes us to keep our emotions on the backburner, etc. aren't incels, it's whats happening with men right now. Men have little to no support group compared to women and for that, I am envious.
As a dad:
I get weird looks when I'm with my child, am told "doing daddy duty huh" when I'm more involved than his mother, am expected to be stoic, can't sit at the bench to waych my child play as some other individual will think I'm a creep as I'm a single dad, can't wear dope/unique patterns due to others perception of it being "flamboyant" while women will compliment other women for what they got on.
Toxic masculinity is intertwined with incels and it's absolutely rampant in society.
stop caring about what other people think. hard to do sometimes but worth it. wear the bright colors, watch your kids, stand up for yourself and take up your space. fuck haters and people who live in the worried thoughts inside their head.
Oh for sure I stopped caring. I wear my crocs with an unique pattern nearly everywhere I go as an example. Just airing grievances and observations
The common denominator in all of this is the fucking internet.
We didn't have the internet to give us opinions about men and women before. Most relationships were formed with existing social circles and friend groups. People hung out and had fun and talked to each other until they started getting frisky and then we had babies.
Now when someone wants to go get it on, they start reading the internet stories and arguments and roleplay issues, and they get tense and worried and then have no idea what to do or say when they're in the same room with a potential partner.
We HAVE to kill off the reliance on the internet if we want people to start liking each other again, which I don't know how to do since we're only getting more and more locked-in to our isolated routines.
People used to “socialize” in person. We had nightclubs, bars, parties, dances. Young people gathered and met—in person. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore. Why?? The allure of nightclubs was live bands… too expensive now. Bars?… too expensive now outside of special occasions. Dances? Not sure what happened there… too expensive to rent a hall and hire music? And parties? Not sure about that either.
Disclaimer: I'm not 18-25.
I have a ton of women friends (more than men ATM) and have solid evidence that I am a significantly attractive man. I'm also bi so my options are a tad more broad than average.
Even with this I can say that dating is unpleasant and I have never asked for one and barely do them (women are rarely bold enough to be the initiator). It feels like a socially awkward job interview where I have to spend money I don't have and I fucking hate job interviews.
Admittedly, I also am autistic, socially anxious, and sexually repressed (American sex culture sucks).
Admittedly, I also am autistic, socially anxious, and sexually repressed
Same here. That's the 21st century everyman.
I am just a regular 62 year old dude and I have not had a date in 12 years and the one I had 12 years ago was a fucking nightmare. I do not miss it.
Too busy playing WoW. Ain't nobody got time for that...
Fires up PornHub.
"Those bitches aint' gettin' my money!"
Maybe because they are getting advice from other men how to trick a girl into giving them sex, this why alot look to pickup artist, it involves manipulation and tricks. They got so used to it, they don't even ask people
For the same reason we don't have productive political debates anymore, people don't have productive interpersonal relations anymore. Everyone withdrawing to their internet safe spaces has made a whole generation of men and women who instead of talking to each other, read horrible stories from other men and women and retreat further and further from actually talking to each other.
Now when you put a young man and woman in the same room together, they're both on edge because both their minds are consumed with anxiety about what the other is "planning."
So... Over the phone doesn't count? Texting doesn't count? Email? Those don't count? I would think that in this day and age texting would be the normal way to ask a girl out for a first date.
You know it's REALLY hard for someone not super social to ask a girl out in person. I'm 50 and i think I've never asked a girl out for a first date in person.... But then again, I am an introverted nerd so that's probably to be expected. Hell, I asked the girl I ended up marrying out over email....
For what reason would men randomly approach women? Women online have made it clear that doing so results in being made fun of, that women hate the features of testosterone-having men, and they've made it clear there is a long list of "icks" that you can't have.
The only dating i do is within the circles of friends.
Currently working on an absolute package, btw. Funny, fun, beautiful, sheeeeeesh.
The heart flutters at the thought.
I sense there is a generation shift because literally everyone I see that's under 25 has airpods in or is looking at their phone while in public. You can't even interact irl anymore.
I remember a picture of a train from "the good old days" where everyone was with their face in a newspaper and not interacting with anyone.
I remember reading about complaints against younger generations spending too much time reading novellas rather than living in the real world and interacting with people (was around the time the industrial printing press was invented).
women online have made it clear
Have you ever asked a woman in real life?
I usually get people asking for my number or socials when they're interested, asking out tends to happen over electronic communication after that.
My process is basically
I also get told I'm very attractive in various verbage near daily so 🤷♀️
Idk, just be respectful and don't be pushy if they're trying to let you down (and pay attention for if they're trying to do it gently)
Well, we need referrals from friends to know men are safe. Even then i take it with a grain of salt