this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[โ€“] MinFapper@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

Soylent?

Should be available at most grocery stores

[โ€“] specks@fedia.io 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Yeah, after a few days on a Soylent diet, should enter reduced pooping mode. Since people only poop every few days I believe.

And for the record, you don't have to drink a while bottle for a meal. Can nurse a single bottle throughout the day.

[โ€“] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I had GI issues that forced me to live off protein shakes like soylent for months. You still poop, but it turns into more of a Nutella spread.

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[โ€“] eulheim@feddit.de 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I had a very good time reading this.

Iโ€™d recommend to throw some Loperamidhydrochlorid in the mix, not sure if you can find it in your pharmacy. When Iโ€™ve been too Music Festivals, weโ€™ve always had some as an emergency, if the toilets would be clogged (which happened a lot).

Stay strong ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

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[โ€“] FarFarAway@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Have you considered something that causes constipation? Immodium, cheese, Blended up guava seeds...

[โ€“] ChrislyBear@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

[โ€“] Relic5646@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Uncomfortable pooping somewhere with no bidet available?

I hope nobody ever finds out

[โ€“] MrDude@lemmy.fmhy.ml 2 points 2 years ago

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

[โ€“] LevelUp@dataterm.digital 2 points 2 years ago

Eat a diet with hardly any fibre before you go. The last time I was bunged up for 4 days I had eaten a lot of meat and not enough veggies in comparison. It'll either help, or you'll just have a very big poop idk.

I would recommend lessening your fibre as a minimum if you must though!

[โ€“] hemko@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
[โ€“] PeckerBrown@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I reckon that when you finally go, you'll need a poop knife to get that grogan down the hopper.

[โ€“] Voiden@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

History in the making

[โ€“] Badass_panda@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Realistically, if you eat anything, you'll poop. Tail down your calorie intake to ~1000 calories at day -7, to -500 on days -6 and -5, then to 0 for days -4 through -1. Start eating again on day zero.

You won't have to poop during that time. Make sure to drink water, and i would add electrolytes to ensure you don't get any type of heart arrhythmia (unlikely on a fast this short, but intelligent anyway).

I don't know why you need to do this, but good luck. I've done week long fasts before and they're not too hard after the first couple of days. Ironically, eating well before the start makes it MUCH harder (you'd think it'd tide you over, but it just makes your body expect food) ... Hence, the tailing down over a couple days.

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