Asklemmy

That would not work. Pushing an object is transmitting kinetic energy to it. The object will push back, and energy would not be distributed to the whole object at the same time.
If the object cannot be altered in any way, then the energy would not be transferred to it, and if it has enough plasticity to absorb the kinetic energy, it would be spread in a wave to the tip. A wave that would always be slower than light.

Now stop fooling around and give Ruyi Jingu Bang back to Sun Wukong.

What about the mass of that stick? Inertial doesn't care for your little silly games.

I don't see this mentioned in any of the other comments: the repulsion between atoms that causes the movement to propagate through the stick is actually communicated via photons. So your push really generates the same kind of particles that your light torch is generating, and they travel at the same speed. Except in the stick it is slowed down by repeated absorption and excitation by the electrons of the atoms.

Because you put the apostrophe in the wrong place?

why wouldn't this work

because bullets are faster than whatever the fuck speed stickman is achieving
and even bullets are slower than light

because...

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/k5s1cMNTmGs

Nah, I prefer using quantum spookiness for that. Send a steady stream of entangled particles to the other person on the moon first. Any time you do something to the particles on Earth, the ones on the Moon are affected also. The catch is that this disentangles them, so you have only a few limited uses. This is why you want a constant stream of them being entangled.

Big stick energy