I tried a bunch of distros, but always came back crawling to arch cause of the package manager
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Ubuntu ain't what it used to be. If you want a simple distro nowadays just go straight to the source with Debian. There's no real benefit to going with Ubuntu anymore, and community distros are just a safer bet. Corporate distros aren't your friend.
So does debian not have like 4 years old packages anymore in stable or do I have to live in bleeding edge unstable?
There was just a new release, so nothing that old for now, but by the time the next release comes around this one will be getting long in the tooth, no doubt. Debian isn't for everyone, but if you need the latest version as a native app then you're not any better off with Ubuntu at this point. Debian is stable and secure and you can use flatpaks, appimages, or even snaps if you're feeling nasty to get any apps that you really need to be up to date. That's not what everyone wants, but for those people I'd recommend something like Arch, Fedora, or OpenSUSE, not Ubuntu. Ubuntu has just been neglecting the desktop for a while now, and it shows. They were the best once. Now everyone has passed them.
Except you have to wait 5 seconds before it goes brrrr because of snaps.
Yikes, I forgot about the All-Snap Ubuntu Desktop!
Oh snap
You can turn them off, but good luck keeping firefox up to date.
Or just use Waterfox or LibreWolf?
Ah yes, vendor lock-in in desktop linux.
I don't get why anyone thinks this is acceptable in any way.
and apt is awful.
Man, why do people hate apt so much? Maybe because I'm a filthy casual but I never really had any big problems with apt.
Eh, I've been around the block at this point. Fedora ftw. Simple, easy, GUI installer, "just works"™️, sane package manager, normie default DEs, stable, corporate backing. Maybe not for a purist or enthusiast, but I don't have time for that stuff anymore anyways. My days of pouring hours into getting my Arch install just right are long past me. That was for when I still had free time.