this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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Well, there went my plans.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!
GIVE ME BACK MY PURSE!
I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!!!
“Kissing the turtle”? I haven’t heard that euphemism before.
Remember kids: if you don't want to catch salmonella, always wash your hands after jerking your chicken, kissing your turtle, or whatever the hell you're calling it these days.
Classic CDC kink shaming me :(
Still okay to fuck it though, right?
As long as you use a condom.
I usually just have my girlfriend kiss my turtle.
No.
Link to CDC report on which states are so far affected: https://www.cdc.gov/salmonella/turtles-08-23/map.html
Most states have had only 1 or 2 cases reported so far.
How did you did down voted for that?
Jonathan the zombie is going to be very unhappy about this ☹️
Who couldn't love that snappy little face?
Also, don’t lick your frog…
I recently rescued a baby RES from falling into my crawl space access. Little guy was all dried up and barely moving. I've owned reptiles in the past and my wife loves turtles so we decided to keep it. A lot of research and learning was done to figure out what it needed and how the tank needs to be kept along with all of the chemical balances. Both of my children were made aware that they need to wash their hands before and after handling the turtle. There is a lot of tank maintenance weekly. We've had it for over 3 months and no one has gotten sick.
MOST reptiles carry salmonella which is why you should wash your hands before and after handling. It bothers me that they say turtles with shells smaller than 4" are worse. The only reason that they say that is because smaller turtles are cute and more likely to be picked up by children. A turtle under 4" is not more or less likely to give you salmonella than a larger turtle.