Ask Lemmy
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I haven't checked out Beehaw in a while, but I used to enjoy spending time there. Some people didn't like it because of how heavily they curated their instance, but I really enjoyed how polite it was. It ultimately discouraged a lot of people from going there, which they saw as good, but most outsiders saw as bad.
As .world ramped up in volume, I had more and more to interact with here, and I ran out of time to be instance hopping so I haven't checked what they're up to lately.
Overall, blahaj seems to have done a better job doing something similar while not alienating people. But if you want to see a Lemmy instance that decided to take the route less taken, maybe give them a look.
No. They're quite good at alienating people, too. Especially when the admin self-admits to banning anyone she personally disagrees with.