this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2025
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reminds me of how my dad would go "quit flapping" whenever I stimmed. it's taken me a while to feel comfortable with flapping my hands again.
.........stimmed? Flapping?
What are these words? I'm afraid to ask in the event it's some new sex thing....that your dad was watching......ew ew ew ew ew.
I’m going to pretend you’re asking in good faith and would genuinely like to learn.
“Stimming” is “sensory stimulation,” or self-regulating behavior. When used in this context it’s not sexual. It helps (typically neurodivergent, but I’d argue most) people better process the environment around them by having a sensory input they can focus on.
Examples of stimming are hand-flapping (waving one’s hands around), clicking a pen, listening to music, tapping one’s toes, chewing gum, just to name a few. I’m willing to bet you have stims that you may not even realize, and that’s perfectly okay.
TL;DR: Stimming = fidgeting that helps you focus/calm down, it’s not perverted.
Yup. I'm (mostly) neurotypical, and used to unconsciously reach for a pen whenever I need to focus on reading code, or have important conversations. I don't click it, just need something to hold (and very occasionally bite on).
Now I consciously carry a "focus pen".
I'm sure Freud has something to say about the whole thing...