this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023
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Anone who thinks it's man hating hasn't actually seen the movie. It has as much to say about the state of modern men as it does women.
At the start of the film it plainly states, out loud, in actual dialog, that for Barbie, every day is the best day ever, but for Ken, it's only a good day if Barbie looks at him.
Ken's adrift. He's the ultimate representation of a friendzoned incel. He has no purpose in life other than as a Barbie accessory with as much agency as her swimming pool or Dream Car.
When he finds that purpose, it's toxic. But saying the film is "man hating" is denying Ken's search for meaning in a Barbie world.
I agree with you and I think there is even more to evaluate in Ken’s search for meaning.
Remember that he’s ultimately lost even in the real (“mans”) world.
There are two things here:
Feminism left men behind. “Maybe every night didn’t have to be a girls night.” And we have a lot of catching up to do on both sides to bring parity to the situation.
Ken expresses his exhaustion at having to be in control of everything. Much of his anxiety is rooted in a patriarchal worldview that makes him responsible for everything due to the lie that men must control the world.
As a man, husband and father myself I can so identify with that journey. I was abused in my career by managers that wanted me to fight my friends for promotions and I’ve burned out several times due to unrealistic expectations that I had of myself which were ingrained in me by a patriarchal culture. It’s very tiring to be ‘the boss’ and I’ve learned that sharing the load does not weaken me, it makes me stronger,
I think that the film is actually very kind to men. It’s saying: ‘You don’t have to do everything alone.’
I honestly wonder if women are ready though. Like I said and like the movie illustrates: there is a lot to do on both sides. Equity has a cost and I know many women who still find sanctuary in the slipstream of the men in their lives because taking that step out of the shadow takes as much bravery as admitting that you can’t be in control of everything all the time.
I'm sorry, but WTF? I don't know how you look at feminism with any kind of understanding and walk away with that impression.
The fact that, as men, we've collectively ignored feminism's every attempt to help us, while whining that women are helping themselves and each other, doesn't mean that feminism has left us behind. It means we've refused help and to help ourselves.
I guess that’s one way to see it. It’s not the message of the movie though. The film chooses, like I do, to take a view that men have some catching up to do and that feminism itself can play a role in this by helping to carve out equitable roles.
I don’t claim to know everything about feminism. I’m just pointing out (as the film has too) that this is new territory for a lot of men. You can sit there and shout “Why haven’t you helped yourselves??!” …or you can help and try to build a progressive society together.