this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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me_irl

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[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 72 points 10 months ago (15 children)

Clearly a cat-fisher. ;)

Okay, jokes aside, advice for the 40+ dudes making dating profiles, assuming they want an actual relationship and not just a hookup.

(1) if all of your photos are selfies, you are unintersting, and probably anti-social. Don't just scroll through your photos on your phone and crop out your head four times from four selfies. If that's all you have on your phone, you need to work on the rest of your life.

(2) Get someone to hold your camera if you're doing profile shots. Find good backdrops. Choose one good full face profile shot, one good full body profile shot. Wear something nice in at least one of them. Or at least get a tripod so it looks like someone held the camera ;)

(3) Get a few pictures of you doing something. Even if it's fishing, and someone else took the photo -- it means to the viewer that you can be social, outdoorsy, etc. A picture of you hitting a ball at beer league baseball will do wonders. Show that you aren't boring and have varied interests.

(4) Get at least one picture of you in a group doing something social where people look like they're laughing and having a good time. Halloween party in costume with a red arrow pointing at you, or poker night table shot where you're making a face at the camera and everyone is laughing. Whatever. Show that you aren't dull, and that other people find you pleasant to be around.

Done.

When you're online dating, you're the product. Be a used car salesman selling yourself, the used car. Convince people that they'll have a great time if they make this choice.

Source: I've had a career where I've had to move a lot -- playing professional bachelor. I have entered the online dating scene after each move. The websites and apps change, but the strategy is largely the same.

[–] purplepants29@startrek.website 16 points 10 months ago

I am a woman who used dating apps for years (and eventually met my husband on one) and this is exactly the advice that I would give anyone using a dating app. These 4 pictures are enough to give someone a quick window into your looks/personality while also giving them something to ask about or bring up in conversation. It can feel vain or odd to post pictures of yourself but it's really a kindness to the person on the other side of the app that makes initial contact much less stressful!

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