this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
69 points (85.6% liked)
Asklemmy
43471 readers
885 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think what's important here is discussing it with your partner because it is a form of sex work.
That's absolutely your decision and your right, it's your body - but your partner should get to choose whether they want to date someone who is doing that.
Not really relevant, that's like saying ordinary cheating isn't cheating if you wear a good disguise.
π€
Letβs say you wear a teddy bear suit, would that be cheatingβ¦?
/s
Or using a glory hole.
Oooo I think the analogy is a Little off. Just because of the way I interpreted why they said that in the first place.
I think it was said because they are expressing that the nudes are as impersonal as possible, not to say look I deidentified myself. In my case (if I'm right, maybe I'm not) it's a good faith argument to say see, I'm not trying to connect with someone I'm trying to have a business transaction, so comparing it to what wearing a disguise accomplishes in cheating isnt accurate.
Again, that's only based on my interpretation of why op added that bit
Someone is free to only date people who don't do office work, but its their job to communicate that requirement and what they'd consider crossing that line. You shouldn't be expected to consult your partner before filling out some paperwork at work and there shouldn't be some societal-wide expectation that you would inform them of the work.
When I get deeply emotionally attached to my data analyst, I might care if they're moonlighting on the side. Sex, work or not, is still an emotional topic for most of the human race and it's not new knowledge to anyone.
Enough that it would not naturally occur to me that "please do not engage in prostitution while we're together" needs to be said out loud. I will casually ask if you're monogamous and if you say yes, that's how monogamy works.
Even aside from that, yeah, tbh, I would consider it good form to let your partner know you're considering a new job regardless, just so they generally know what's going on. If you have to hide it, maybe something is wrong.
Selling a photo isn't really prostitution in the way people usually use it. No physical contact, no risk of STDs, no commitment to anons purchasing, it doesn't count.
If you put a lot of time into it or doing it more long-term or they're expecting you to be somewhere and you're gonna be late, sure. If it's a one-time thing that takes a very short amount of time, it's insignificant enough to not matter whether or not you mention it. That's not hiding anything more than not telling them you tied your shoes that day is hiding something.
I personally would not date someone who is employed by the US military.
If a partner hid that from me, it would be a breach of trust.
If you're in a relationship with someone that cares that deeply about office work, and you don't have the first inkling that they do, you have significant communication problems that need to be addressed.
More realistically, you'd know enough about your partner to know that it might be an issue for them, in which case, not knowing what their boundaries are, but knowing you're at risk of crossing them, you'd communicate with them.