this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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Lord of the memes
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Samwise was the actual Ringbearer like Neville Longbottom was the actual chosen one.
Motherfucker had the cast iron pans man. Shits heavy. You expect him to carry the fucking ring too? Frodo cant use his two hands to carry 1 oz of ring? Motherfucker had that shit on a a chain, around his damn neck, and you gotta rag on Samwise "cast iron champion" gamgee about only carrying that dainty shit for a bit, huh? Frodo cant even put that shit in his hands, but you blastin Samwise when he fucks up an ancient horror, tosses frodo on his shoulder, grabs the ring AND STILL GOT THE PANS.
Man has to carry the pans and the ring to get any respect around here, but you all about getting on that frodo "no pan" biggins jock lickity split, yeah?
Apologies. You misheard me. Allow me to restate for clarity: Samwise was the actual ringbearer. Neville was the chosen one. Oh, and Frodo & Harry are whiny, navel-fiddlin' bitches.
(Also, and apropos of little: Rowling is a transphobic hack that mistakes her supreme luck with actual writing chops, and Tolkein hated the fanbase that grew up around the stories he doodled in the margins of his linguistic cathedrals.)