Selfhosted
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That's very normal regarding the crash trying to join #matrix:matrix.org. You need much higher specs and need to be using Postgres database, MySQL probably won't handle it.
Can you post a sanitized version of your homeserver.yaml so we can take a look at your config?
Also are you running docker or something else?
Heres my yaml. I quickly skimmed the docs and set it up last night so its probably pretty jank. So I guess my large channels issue is solved and I need better hardware. As for the the Error 500 I get while uploading profile pictures, this is the exact error I get:
Failed to save your profile MatrixError: [500] Internal server error (https://matrix.*.xyz/_matrix/media/r0/upload?filename=5db2-6c61-48eb-827c-f09ec246af71.png)
Your config looks good to me. I'm thinking you may have a permissions error with your media store folder. What permissions do you have set for it?