codybrumfield

I like how everyone they interview for this is someone no one really wants to hang out with. They sound nice but come on. If a fat dude who wears an LSU jersey to work every Friday is ever like, “I’m gonna be cooking some shit up in the park next Wednesday after work. Got a keg. Come on by on your way home.” we’d all go get a plate.

I’m starting to think that ayatollah guy isn’t on the up and up. Been smoking those left-handed cigarettes if you ask me.

Beach moose.

Gerrymandering is half the reason people don’t vote. If an election isn’t competitive and there’s significant roadblocks put in your way, you might not vote either. Imagine having two jobs and kids and a long ass line at a voting precinct that isn’t within walking distance.

We should probably never underestimate some people’s addiction to clout.

I don’t think Texas should be allowed to use hamster wheels for critical electricity generation anymore. Hamsters die way too often. And while we’re at it, we should ban adults from wearing cowboy costumes until we figure out if they’re groomers or actual cowboys. Kids won’t be safe until they know which adults have ponies and which are just pretending and up to no good.

If they weren’t that ridiculous about security, a rowdy teen might score some brew. Or worse, an unauthorized person might trick an innocent business into making them pay payroll taxes. Imagine what a dystopian world it would be if fake IDs existed.