this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
819 points (98.9% liked)

Greentext

6128 readers
1280 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Abnorc@lemm.ee 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Final shot is Jack Black clumsily wading through a poison swamp, “not again!”

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 9 hours ago

The swamp itself farts with every green bubble that boils and pops on the surface.

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 18 points 12 hours ago

"Praise the sun!" Start trashing the cinema and blasting take on me full volume

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 7 points 11 hours ago

Yeah, that probably exactly what's gonna happen. Just make sure to end me before that please.

[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 77 points 17 hours ago

I absolutely hate this, but can't deny that it's accurate

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 23 points 14 hours ago
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 42 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

They already created this game.

It was called Brutal Legend

It was quite good.

[–] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago

That was unfortunately a Jack Black of a different era. This one abandons his lifelong friend to be as hollywood safe as possible for saying meanie-bobeanie things about trump (as a comedian on a stage that is known for political jokes)

[–] xspurnx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 hours ago

Pretty good soundtrack too.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Yup. Most that you can fault it for, is the mechanics later in the game, which try to teach you how to play multiplayer, getting too repetetive.

Because of course the game had PvP battling with music stages as bases.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 8 points 10 hours ago

I think the main issue people had was it had lot of RTS sections further in.

They weren't actually that bad, but the demo gave no clue that the main chunk of gameplay was going to be running around issuing orders rather than the basic heavy metal themed hack-and-slash it pretended to be.

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 29 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

THIS SUMMER, ROB SCHNEIDER DOOP DE DERP DEE DOODLEY DERP

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 9 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

This summer, unfortunately, Rob Schneider is

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JDPoZ@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago

I wish “The Studio” was ballsy enough to do an episode about this exactly.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 21 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Well, I know people would watch it.

I did not watch the Minecraft movie myself, no desire to experience a full theater of people throwing popcorn around screaming chicken jockey.

Movie industry is fucked.

[–] ace_of_based@sh.itjust.works 9 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

i enjoyed the Minecraft movie. i wouldn't say it was great, but i was watching it with my nephews and had fun. it helped that mamoa and black were clearly having fun doing it and had good chemistry together. (i even play the song "lava chicken" for fun hehe)

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I watched it this week, no popcorn was thrown. The movie was a solid 5/10, and was only carried by JB being JB.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 18 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

I'm still sore about Jack Black being a coward and throwing Kyle Gass under the bus so IDK how much that would help with my enjoyment.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 39 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Movie is called Dark Souls, plot is Elden Ring. Hollywood on par for the course.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 4 points 14 hours ago

Reminds me of the director Jon Peters who wanted a giant spider in Superman and was shot down. So he got Wild West and put a giant spider in there.

Hollywood does whatever Hollywood wants.

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 123 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

The fact that they show a Dark Souls poster and proceed to describe an Elden ring movie is very funny. Like the producers don't know the difference.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 61 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

they'd be proud of the fact that they never played video games, let alone the source material.

look at interviews surrounding halo paramount, "we want to tell our own story in this setting" then proceeds to make garbage that actively disrespects the source.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 26 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

“We didn’t look at the game. We didn’t talk about the game. We talked about the characters and the world. So I never felt limited by it being a game.”

The quote is amazing.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 9 points 14 hours ago

that's an even better quote than the one I remembered

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 156 points 1 day ago
[–] Pyro@programming.dev 235 points 1 day ago

I hate that I can visualize this greentext so easily.

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›