Today I Learned

I think it’s more commonly found in domestic relationships as well. It’s probably most often used to just avoid housework, such as laundry or dishes and other things that men see as “beneath them” (hint: it’s not). Or in the case of people supporting the entire household, it’s not seen as a fair division of labor to also do housework. If one is doing all the work outside the home or paying the overwhelming majority of the household bills, why should one be doing housework too? What responsibilities does the other partner have? So one just F’s up basic jobs and soon the other partner takes over out of frustration.

It can also be seen as the male equivalent of withholding sex when partners are in conflict. For women, withholding sex is commonly used as a form of punishment in relationships to show displeasure at a man’s behavior. It’s denying their bodies to men, which they have every right to do, it’s their bodies their choice, sex should be consensual. For men however, that specific tactic is almost meaningless in many cases (there’s always exceptions to be sure), as women, on average, tend to have a higher tolerance for forgoing sex than men do.

Enter weaponized incompetence. Men are typically relied on to do most of the “grunt” work and many repair jobs around the household, their bodies are used to affect change on their environment. So if they simply withhold their own bodies to be used to repair or move heavy objects or whatever, that’s also their prerogative and it can bring a household to a halt. Nobody can force you to fix an electrical outlet or change a flat tire or repair a washer/dryer or whatever else men are relied on for. Men can simply deny the use of their bodies for basic things that everyone else takes for granted, it’s their bodies their choice, labor should be consensual.