Asklemmy

43843 readers

654 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

sas (linux.community)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers and coworkers. In my case I’d quit some coworkers and sometimes my manager.

But others coworkers are good ones I like working with, and the workplace is not very far, meaning my commute is so small I can bike there. There’s lots of downtime as well and sometimes my biggest trouble is how not to die of boredom listening to my coworkers’ boring stories because they feel offended if I don’t sit with them. I’m unionized.

I like keeping to myself and deciding what kind of people I want in my private life. Most of my coworkers are not this kind of people. I’ve been called a loner, which is actually true and it’s not a problem unless people bully me for it (because they feel offended by my silence, apparently). My biggest problem is office drama. However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?

I don’t get drama. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I usually try to approach questions like this as if one of my kids was asking (I'm older, and have been working for 38+ years). This one is hard because I can't tell if you're being realistic - and I don't mean that as an insult; you seem to be unsure if you're being realistic, too.

You're right that there's drama everywhere. It's also pretty hard to find a sizable group of people anywhere without having a few you don't really care for. My personal approach to this kind of situation is to try really hard to be respectful and professional to all of my coworkers, whether I like them or not, but to also be aware that I'm not obligated to socialize with anyone if I don't want to. It's 100% fine to be a loaner. If someone gives you shit about it, think of how you'd feel if they gave you shit because your shirt was blue or your height was average: there's zero to be ashamed of about those things, so it just makes them look dumb or weird.

But at the end of the day, you spend a huge hunk of your life at work, and if you're miserable you should find another place, whether your misery is reasonable or not. The key to being happy with it is to decide if the place is okay, and so you're going to make it work, or it's not tenable for you and so you're going to find someplace else and then make it happen. The worst part is having one foot on each side of that line and feeling stuck.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!