this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. The Democrat asks what the draft of the day is. The Republican is confused about the term "draft" and begins laughing nervously mumbling something about "bone spurs".

The bartender asks the Democrat if his friend is retarded to which he responds, "we don't use that word. He's mentally challenged."

The Republican becomes irrationally angry at hearing the Democrat defend him and pulls out a gun and points it at the Democrat.

The bartender shouts, "hey, we have a no guns policy!"

In response the Republican points the gun at the bartender and screeches out, "REEEEEEEEEE!"

The bartender lifts his hands up to show he's not a threat and the Republican screams out, "STOP RESISTING! YOUR BAR MY CHOICE!" and shoots at the bartender.

The bullet misses the bartender and ricochets back to hit the Republican in the dick and he collapses on the floor.

At this moment, there is a commotion in the back of the bar where five burly men come rushing up to the Republican on the floor and begin kicking the shit out of him spraying blood everywhere.

Whilst they violently beat the dickless man some are shouting, "sex changes are immoral you removed piece of shit!" and, "I bet your ass is real tight you fucking fairy!"

after 10 minutes the group of Republicans slow down from exhaustion but they seem to be chanting something under their breath, "your body, my choice. your body, my choice."

Eventually they leave and the Democrat and bartender stare in complete shock. After a minute the bartender asks the Democrat if he wants him to call the police. The Democrat responds, "Can't you see he's already dead! Just drape a flag over him. It's what he would have wanted."

The bartender acknowledges the request and holds up the only flag in the bar to ask, "Is this ok, it's the only flag I have." To which the Democrat responds, "It's perfect."

The Democrat takes the rainbow flag and drapes it over the dead Republican. He then looks down at the flag soaked in blood, "He died doing what he loved the most. Sticking it to liberals and getting fucked by five men."

did you enjoy that i did

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don’t know what you’re on, but could you hook me up with some?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

this is my coping mechanism.

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