Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Fastmail looks like they have CalDAV and CardDAV support (https://www.fastmail.help/hc/en-us/articles/1500000278342-Server-names-and-ports). If you actually want to use their contacts and calendar, why do you want to host another yourself? Two-way sync sounds like a pain.
You just need to connect your devices to it. Unfortunately Google thinks PIM sync is not worthwhile to have on Android unless you use their service, so you'll need some extra apps. I used DAVx5 (it's free if you get it from F-Droid), Tasks.org and OneCalendar in the past for this.
This is what I do. DAVx5 works well as long as you're ok withiut realtime sync (you can pick how fast you want it). I would love to see Fastmail build the support I to their own app but that's not where we're at.