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badposting
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badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Rules:
- Do not post good posts.
- Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
- Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
- This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
- This rule intentionally left blank.
- If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
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will have no choice but to resign as chief of the VolCel Police.
is standing by to take over the very important position in the event of that sudden vacancy... and just in time to face the upcoming challenge of Zootopia 2 coming out around this time next year.
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Soon you will be forced to wear super uncomfortable footwear too! Hope your balance is good and you never need to run.
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Little green men, greys, spacemen, the reptilians that sneak inside at night to piss your bed. Whatever you call them, for a long time now people have been captivated with tales of travelers from other worlds. Reports of extraterrestrial life exists varying from the unconvincing to the slightly less unconvincing.
With such questions of otherworldly beings plaguing the minds of people for so long, it seems it the mantle has fallen to me once more to smart brain my way through this and solve aliens once and for all.
To this end I have read through a staggering two reported alien sightings, and from my studies have drawn a shocking conclusion. Hang close to me friends, we're in for a wild ride.
Case 1 - The Flatwoods Monster
In 1952 in the town of Flatwoods, West Virginia, USA, Earth, three boys said they saw some object streak down from the sky and crash into a field of a local farm. They told their mother, who accompanied them out this field alongside a member of the West Virginian National Guard. As the group crested a hill, they became aware of movement and a pulsing red light. Turning their torches into the woods they saw something that shocked them to their core.
A creature with a hood-like face, bright yellow eyes, and tiny, taloned hands. Now the obvious answer here is that they saw an owl perching on a tree (see below) and in their panicked minds filled in the blanks for them. Either way, they didn't hang around long enough to find out.
"Oh wise one," you cry, "Even one as intelligent as you cannot solve such a vast mystery on the back of one mere event."
You are correct, which is why ~~skimmed wikipedia~~ read exhaustively about a second sighting.
Case 2 - The Hopkinsville Goblin
In 1955, five adults from a farm just outside Hopkinsville, Kentucky, USA, Earth, arrived at a police station requesting help. They claimed they had spent almost four hours fending off a number of yellow eyed, 2ft tall, horned creatures that had been peaking through the windows of their farmhouse. Seventeen police officers arrived at the scene of the battle, but found only evidence of the gunshots the terrified farmers had let off.
The great horned owl, is about 2ft tall, and has head plumage that resembles a pair of horns. They are found all over the Americas, and can get pretty aggressive if disturbed.
"It was owls all along?" you, a fool, ask.
You are blind to something much more sinister afoot.
Owls are not being mistaken for extraterrestrials. Owls are extraterrestrials.
What better way to scout Earth and pry for our weaknesses than to take loftily to the sky and observe from above. Is not a bird's eye view essential for getting the lay of the land.
You worry that I am stretching too far, you worry that I am missing the obvious truth here. You doubt me.
Well I broke into the secretive Area 52 and I have found incontestable proof that I am right, and you are stinky.
I rest my case.
The question now, is what must be done. For all I know, there may be owls amongst us. The invasion may well have already begun. Perhaps by making you aware of this I have placed you all in danger.
Watch your back my friends, but also the sky.
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