this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[โ€“] Dicska@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Holy mackerel, it's the house!

[โ€“] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 3 hours ago

I have to shove a whole fucking table up there? ๐Ÿ˜ซ

[โ€“] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

a nice soft blanket. not sure how much will fit but I bet when I take it out it'll feel like taking packing out of your sinuses after an infection.

I can BREATHE!

[โ€“] M137@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

My bathroom sink... at least my bowels will be empty before it ends up inside me.

[โ€“] Zomg@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Water heater ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

This is rather convenient, as the object to my left is a roll of toilet paper

[โ€“] Zenith@lemm.ee 3 points 6 hours ago

Iโ€™m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I was leaning against this when I opened the post:

[โ€“] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's pointing at my finger, so an easy one.

Now start diddling your diddle Diddlydee

[โ€“] brokenlcd@feddit.it 8 points 9 hours ago

What a horrible day to be working around mig welding machines.

[โ€“] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] drewbelloc@ani.social 2 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Is that south park episode again, now i need to rewatch it tonight

[โ€“] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

This is my chinchilla. Her name is Muffin and she wants to rip the baseboards out from the wall so she can eat them

[โ€“] drewbelloc@ani.social 4 points 10 hours ago

When i thought she couldn't get more cute you tell me her name is Muffin, now i wanna to carry her

[โ€“] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 1 points 6 hours ago

I am currently regretting my choice to sit in the garden. About 20 concrete blocks.

[โ€“] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 21 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?

[โ€“] NKBTN@feddit.uk 2 points 6 hours ago

Same. Even with a LOT of lube I think this is going to sting

[โ€“] FourWaveforms@lemm.ee 2 points 8 hours ago

No you've got it mixed up, he's a-pitchin'.

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[โ€“] ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 2 points 7 hours ago

Reading this on the toilet, literally it's toilet paper

[โ€“] fungalfelidae5@lemm.ee 1 points 6 hours ago

entire crate of water bottles.

It's a car. RIP

[โ€“] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 51 points 15 hours ago (3 children)
[โ€“] x4740N@lemm.ee 4 points 11 hours ago

Put The Cat down shane dawson

[โ€“] RushLana@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I only have a table to my left... Well this is gonna hurt.

[โ€“] arrow74@lemm.ee 2 points 9 hours ago

My couch is the only object on my left

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[โ€“] trslim@pawb.social 56 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 17 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Well looks like u got the best option

[โ€“] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 hours ago

Hairbrush. It'd fit fine, but it's got rubberized paint that's coming off the handle. :/

[โ€“] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 hours ago

Not sure how a television is gonna fit, but here we go

[โ€“] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 12 hours ago (4 children)

My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.

[โ€“] eldain@feddit.nl 1 points 3 hours ago

Objectifying your fiance is cheating in this game.

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[โ€“] Routhinator@startrek.website 10 points 13 hours ago

Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.

[โ€“] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Either my 10in tablet, or my huge ~~ashtray~~ bowl

[โ€“] Grostleton@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

An ~12"x18"x1" wooden cutting board...

I can make this work.

[โ€“] 9point6@lemmy.world 25 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

I just walked past a parked car as I read thatโ€”it's been nice knowing you all

[โ€“] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Zetta@mander.xyz 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I'm also in the bathroom, but the TP is on my right and to the left is the shower. No objects that aren't attached to the building. So, that'll be hard.

[โ€“] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 hours ago

You can do it, I believe in you.

[โ€“] rockerface@lemm.ee 17 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Toilet paper? All according to plan

[โ€“] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Same but would be maybe better to not have it go all the way up

[โ€“] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 8 points 15 hours ago

I guess he's trying to deep clean the pipes

[โ€“] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 16 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.

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[โ€“] reddfugee@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

My poor Blรฅhajโ€ฆ

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