“Learnings” - you’re not fucking Borat!
this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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I haaaaate this one! It's lessons ffs lessons.
- Holistic
- Double Click
- Table Stakes
- Jump Ball
- Blocking & Tackling
We're going to hyperconverge our core past the edge node and clear out to the cloud!
not really corporate, but (as far as i know) it was brought into existence due to corporations: "unalive"
Ping: emailing someone
Revert: emailing someone
[Topic] came up on diary: I'm emailing someone
Signs you work in a bullshit email job.
“Cross-pollinate”
One company I worked for decided it was a good idea to name a bunch of firings due to performance "Project Panda" 🤦
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"Tribal knowledge."
- image: We, clan. Together, strong.
- reality: Ask Tommy if he remembers how to reset the printer
Though, I actually like this one. It's a pretty cool phrase you can use anywhere.
I call this one oral tradition, it always gets a chuckle
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More from the sales types but saying 'value added' is the same as saying greedy mark up.
“You don’t have a sense of urgency to get things done”. I usually get this when I’m going crazy to get things done so my status reports and presentations suffer. I understand paperwork is necessary, but can’t you at least say that rather than claiming I’m not getting things done. Meanwhile they’re satisfied with my sends of urgency to get things done if I just ignore my work and pamper them with status reports and PowerPoints.
IME, when they talk about sense of urgency, they want you to cut corners and rush through everything, but somehow make no mistakes. Usually said when you've been assigned double the normal workload for your position.
There are many but I find "let's double-click on that" particularly grating
I always reply with, "Or we could right-click on that to see our options".
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- Alignment
- Scalable
- Circle back
If you use these regularly I KNOW the meeting you just booked me into should have been an email.
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'contextual knowledge'
this gem was put forward in all seriousness when the data didn't support the claims in the report: "it's not in the numbers, but we have a pretty good sense that this is true"
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Collaboration. I have never worked at a single company that wanted people talking or collaborating on the work floor, or even when sharing a cubicle, let alone listen to any suggestion us peons had to offer. They keep using it as an excuse for RTO.
Synergy
Mostly because I have never heard it used correctly in the context of a copprate speech/talk.
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